Remembering that others may share a perspective different than our own seems sometimes impossible. Maybe, however, if we make an attempt to see the other side, we'll make better, stronger connections, with choices based on reality rather than misperceptions.
Parents can feel easily disenfranchised from schools. In my district charter schools seem to be the new attraction. As a district employee I know we have good teachers who believe in every child's potential to excel academically and socially. So why do parents seek new institutions? I can only guess they're fed up. They feel a different model will give them and their children a better education. What "better" means, depends on the charter.
It feels like divorce. If memory serves, over 50% of divorcees remarry. So those individuals want closeness and commitment, it just didn't work the firs time. Once divorced, however, remarriages aren't necessarily more likely to go better the second time around. The problems may even remain the same, simply with different people involved. New faces, similar issues. And then sometimes we discover the issues are our own. I worry that this scenario will play out with our charter schools. I worry parents will end up disappointed. I wonder how students feel. Will they doubt their ability to handle life situations not contrived and supported by parents? Will they feel safe going out in the world on their own, if their parents aren't designing their work, home, and recreational activities.
When kids succeed of their own accord, they build confidence. When parents show faith in the schools, they inspire their young learners to try a little harder. Kids want to make their parents proud. When parents doubt the school, they inadvertently doubt their kids. And our children feel that. They complain more at home, in order to align with family conversation. That fuels parent concern, and it's a recipe for certain doubt.
Teachers and administrators need to build trust with families. Families need to know what to expect, they need to receive a solid picture of their students' days, and they need to feel a part of the conversation in terms of academic excellence and instructional approaches. When families feel part of the story, they are invested. They may be less likely to cast doubt on the situation, and recognize their own ability to influence what's happening.
Parents want to know their children are treated with love and fairness. Teachers want to know that parents support our work with students both academically and socially. And we all carry with us our own stories of how we were treated, what we expect, and those stories also color our perceptions.
Of all the things parents and teachers alike could do in order to bring clarity to the home-school connection, it's engaging in conversation. Parents need to talk with teachers when they have questions, concerns or wonderings. Teachers need to call parents when they have questions, concerns, wonderings or compliments.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
3-3-11 6:30 pm Childhood For Sale
It's like we can buy it: happiness for our children. Since so many of them are used in marketing, those happy faces, those precious nano-moments, it starts to seem like childhood should be happy. Perpetual joy, complete acceptance, and instant gratification relentlessly impress upon our collective subconcious a neo-idealism for kids. Norman Rockwell's got nothin' on Disney.
I had to work for my allowance, and my mother before me may not have had one at all. My grandmother may have had an allowance, but it was to be used to buy the family groceries. Anne's friends, however, talk about dollar bills left by the tooth fairy. Families who struggle to put food on the table still somehow manage to put nintendos and other gaming devices in the hands of their children. Thanks to the media, we begin to imagine that our children should be happy. All the time. We start believing this neo-idealism of childhood because we see images of it, however contrived, presistantly in the media.
They should do chores, yes, and all the while be happy about it. They should learn at school, and while they learn, feel utter joy and security at all times. Our precious children should build immunities, somehow, magically without the pain and suffering that comes with the common cold.
Well, I have news for this neo-idealistic childhood perception: Picking up after the dog is the pits, and I want my child to know it sooner rather than later so she'll lay off asking for another pet. Learning is inherantly emotionally risky behavior, and the sooner my students realize there's something to be gained by taking risks, the more open their minds will be. Getting sick feels horrible, and learning to lay off sugar and dairy when you have a cold makes healing happen more quickly, a claim that still eludes a myriad of over-the-counter drugs.
The sooner we awake from the hypnotic images of a neo-idealistic youth, the better we'll serve our children who will some day face challenges: unrequited love, lost jobs, theft, illness, and who knows what else? Let's get real about teaching our children that they too can overcome challenges, by letting them experience some.
I had to work for my allowance, and my mother before me may not have had one at all. My grandmother may have had an allowance, but it was to be used to buy the family groceries. Anne's friends, however, talk about dollar bills left by the tooth fairy. Families who struggle to put food on the table still somehow manage to put nintendos and other gaming devices in the hands of their children. Thanks to the media, we begin to imagine that our children should be happy. All the time. We start believing this neo-idealism of childhood because we see images of it, however contrived, presistantly in the media.
They should do chores, yes, and all the while be happy about it. They should learn at school, and while they learn, feel utter joy and security at all times. Our precious children should build immunities, somehow, magically without the pain and suffering that comes with the common cold.
Well, I have news for this neo-idealistic childhood perception: Picking up after the dog is the pits, and I want my child to know it sooner rather than later so she'll lay off asking for another pet. Learning is inherantly emotionally risky behavior, and the sooner my students realize there's something to be gained by taking risks, the more open their minds will be. Getting sick feels horrible, and learning to lay off sugar and dairy when you have a cold makes healing happen more quickly, a claim that still eludes a myriad of over-the-counter drugs.
The sooner we awake from the hypnotic images of a neo-idealistic youth, the better we'll serve our children who will some day face challenges: unrequited love, lost jobs, theft, illness, and who knows what else? Let's get real about teaching our children that they too can overcome challenges, by letting them experience some.
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