In our school district, conferences are scheduled this week. Hopefully you plan to attend conferences when they come your way. Invariably issues come up throughout the year, some easier than others to bring up with the classroom teacher. Following are tips for confronting issues at conferences:
Time Issues: You want homework to happen, and yet day after day, week after week, it goes undone. Moreover, your child comes home reporting that s/he missed recess in order to complete those unfinished assignments. What to do? Share this concern with your student's teacher. Rather than hope he or she doesn't bring it up, let the teacher know you want to work as a team to support your student.
We understand sports, errands, making dinner, and outside play time sometimes make homework take a back seat. And yet, the average American elementary student spends only 7% of his or her waking hours in school, from birth to age 10. Schools really need your help. Your teacher will likely be delighted to brainstorm strategies that could help you help your student: Read in the car on the way to errands. This time can also work for math facts and spelling words (parents, this will keep your skills sharp, just be sure to keep your eyes on the road!) Make sure to create a homework area with good lighting, reference materials, and plenty of writing tools: paper and pencil so your student knows where to go to get started. And make homework an attractive choice: "Would you rather clean the dog yard, or do your homework in the kitchen with me, while I make dinner?"
Your child seems down when s/he comes home from school. Remember, the cause could be anything from a lousy lunch complete with smashed sandwich, to feeling left out at recess, to struggling with an academic issue, to bullying. If you suspect bullying, bring it up with your child's teacher. It's nice to hope that Ms. Teacher has a beat on everything happening socially in his or her classroom, and yet, with an average of about 23 students, seeing them only four hours per day while they're in the classroom (students have other teachers watching and teaching them at recess, lunch and specials), and continually revising lesson plans to meet learning needs it's pretty reasonable that if the student has kept the issue to him or her self, Ms. Teacher doesn't know about it. If the upside down smile may have another source, bring that up. The more teacher knows about what's going on in your student's life, the more prepared s/he will be to meet your child's needs. Remember, both you and the teacher want the same thing for your child: A safe and happy learning environment designed to meet your learner's academic needs.
Volunteering: You'd like to come into the classroom, and yet other children at home mean you need to find and pay for child care. You work full-time. Your schedule fluctuates, precluding you from making a weekly commitment. Let the teacher know. Maybe you can take home projects - collating, stapling, ripping pages out of workbooks, research, etc. Teachers' work seems infinite. Your help might go a long way to supporting the work of learning for students in the classroom.
Academic Issues: Whether you suspect the work is too hard or too easy for your learner, bring it up with the teacher. It's very likely the teacher collected data that supports instructional decisions. Parents, if you aren't seeing or understanding that data, please let us know; we want to help. And yet, that's only part of the picture. Maybe your student scored low on several assessments measuring a math skill, while a spouse was moving out, or the child suffered a long and severe cold, or had a few late nights. Work with your teacher so that the two of you come to a common understanding of your learner's individual situation and needs. Then begin a plan, together.
Teachers love their students. They want what's best for them, and a key to building mutual understanding of your child's needs is for you to attend conferences. If something comes up and you need to reschedule, simply call the school to make necessary arrangements.
Respect your conference window. If you're coming in with questions, let the teacher know as soon as possible. Teachers spend a lot of time preparing for conferences, and may sit down with you ready to share a lot of work and planning on behalf of your student. Knowing you have questions allows the teacher to revise his or her plan earlier in the conference, affording you more time to offer your perspective. If the conversation feels like it may extend beyond the 20 minute allotment, ask the teacher when you can get together again.
In a world of blended families, fragmented time, and information over-load in the form of sound bites and Y-tube flicks, our students need us more than ever. They need a solid foundation of common expectations, common goals, and reliable consequences. They need to know on whom they can depend. Make those people you and your child's teacher, by teaming with school professionals. Teachers are a lot like doctors. You can't pay them enough, because their work comes from the heart. Our methods may seem unusual to you. Remember, a lot of research has changed the face of education since you attended school. Ask questions, and give your child's teacher the benefit of the doubt. And always, call with questions. We'd love to talk.
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